Integrity

[Update 7/30: Seems integrity is not the only thing lacking lately. A number of my friends are having these issues discovering new acquaintances are not just lacking in integrity, but lacking in conscience and even sanity. Weird how many of us are running into some really pathologically messed up people.

Makes me wonder if it's coincidence, or if the incidence of personality disorders is on the rise, and even if the lack of conscience issue could be a cultural problem. Maybe we need to start 'em young with empathy training throughout elementary and secondary school or something. I wonder if that would even help?? I guess it couldn't hurt...]

Been thinking a lot lately about integrity. Not only doing the right thing simply because it's just, but the more difficult act of making things right when imbalance occurs (ho'oponopono), and the most difficult and truest test of integrity, which is refraining from taking advantage to another's detriment simply because you can. Lack of integrity is true weakness.

Reminds me of another Fiona Apple song (she and I could TALK!):

My peace and quiet was stolen from me
When I was looking with calm affection
You were searching out my imperfections

Oh what a cold and common old way to go
I was feeding on the need for you to know me
Devastated at the rate you fell below me

Oh well...

Oh Brother

Kevin had a wonderful mentor in Sonoma (Thank You, Steve!) with whom we keep in touch, but there is no mentoring program here through the schools. So we signed Kevin up for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program here, and he's had a Big Brother for the last few months. I can't say enough good things about this organization. The counselors are very responsive and helpful, and it's been good for Kevin to get out and meet some new people.

My first introduction to BBBS was through a boyfriend about 25 years ago. He was in his mid-20s at the time, and still good friends with his "Big" and family from childhood. Around the holidays here last year, while speaking to that same old boyfriend, who has remained a friend all these years, he mentioned his friend who'd been his Big, and it occurred to me to sign Kevin up here.

It means Kevin gets to spend several hours each weekend outside and active, playing basketball, swimming in his Big's pool, learning to BBQ (his Big used to be a chef), or having fun at the beach with new friends, including a three-yr-old girl he loves to play with and who adores him now so much that she cries when he leaves. So he gets to play big brother for a change as well, a role he's amazingly good at. He has a knack with small children. So for him to find an outlet for that here, makes him happy and is great for his self-esteem. Also, the more time he spends in the water, the happier he is. He's becoming quite the water-baby, and all those swimming lessons are starting to pay off.

It also means that I get a few hours to myself here and there to spend with friends, at the beach or just getting things done around the house. That last part is hard, since I'm home working all week, I want to be out and about evenings and weekends. However, I really love this house, and have a few projects in the works here, including a plumbago hedge (my babies) that's growing quite nicely. Aaaand, we have banana trees. One of the neighbor's trees just bore fruit in massive amounts, so we have fresh sweet bananas to eat...yum!

But I digress...who me? :)

Aloha pumehana...

WoW for MAC!

Well, we did it! Kevin and I went and bought an iMAC today. We're SO excited. I'm actually composing this post on the new machine, which was a breeze to set up and with its built-in wireless, works like a charm over our little ol' LAN. It's mostly for Kevin to play WoW, but also for my photographs and internet surfing.

This comes after months of frustration with first an old Compaq Presario that really worked well for what it cost, and then a used Dell XPS, which only lasted about two months before it started crashing with hardware malfunctions that turned out to be caused by a defect with the GPU. In short, every time Kev played WoW, he was maxing out the system until it crashed, which would inevitably be during some all-important raid.

Poor kid. I can't count the times I heard an anguished OH MY GOD! with heavy thumps of frustration on the table. He *loved* that XPS, and the graphics are great, but with it dying every 1/2 hour, and the small hard drive, it was not something I wanted to dump more money into to fix. Time for something more reliable.

Soooo, we got the higher level 20" iMAC with the larger hard drive and better graphics card, and then added a maximum RAM upgrade. Now we just need to install WoW, and Kevin will be set. He's beyond excited!

(From Kevin himself,) I'm ECSTATIC!

I love it when he's happy. :)

[Update: Kevin installed WoW this morning lickety-split, he's up and running, and I can't believe how easy this thing is to set up and navigate. Thanks Ed!, for the pep talk and the info. Everything actually works...the first time. Woo-Hoo!!!]

Aloha pumehana...

Not Easy

"It is not easy to study emotions even when the subjects are human...." ~ Jane Goodall

Laniakea Beach up at North Shore is also known as Turtle Beach. It is frequented by a number of beautiful, huge Hawaiian Sea Turtles, known locally as honu. The honu were previously an endangered species that has made a comeback of sorts and is now classified as threatened and still garners some protections under federal law.

Under the watchful eyes of the Honu Guardians - volunteers who watch over the animals, collect behavioral data, and share information with visitors to the beach - the animals that frequent this spot have endeared themselves to locals over the years and bear the names to prove it.

A few days ago, one of these turtles, Honey Girl, was slaughtered during the night by some human animal; ripped open like a tin can, eviscerated, beheaded and missing a flipper, she was mutilated far beyond what would have been necessary or humane for extracting the meat to eat.

The community was...is...horrified by this brutal and senseless act of violence.

A memorial was set up on the beach to honor Honey Girl, and the memorial had an unexpected guest:

Some may say this is coincidence or that we shouldn't ascribe human emotions to wild creatures, but why is emotion still so taboo in the scientific community? As a lifelong admirer of Jane Goodall, who challenged that taboo with her entire body of work, I say it's time to let that old taboo die.

Maluhia 'oe, Honey Girl.

Prince Lot Hula Festival

Relaxing day yesterday enjoying the Prince Lot Hula Festival at Moanalua Gardens (yes, I got the T-shirt :). It's a stunningly lovely setting with ancient trees arching over a wide lawn in front of the hula mound, providing natural dappled shade perfect for a lazy picnic watching graceful hula (as always, click photos for a larger view).









This is an annual event, and this year the theme was honoring some of the great women of hula. The kumu hula are more than teachers; they are spiritual leaders, and it was a celebratory and fitting tribute.


Of course, as with any festival, the setting would not be complete without the Hawaiian crafts and plate lunch booths, and activities such as pounding taro into poi.


And so far I've never seen a hula performance without a dance by the little ones, the keiki, who are inevitably adorable.



The day was capped off by an evening out on the town at Aloha Tower listening to music with friends and having...*gasp*...fun with adults. Yes, I was actually out well past midnight laughing, and chair dancing with cowbells was involved...don't ask. It's been WAY too long since I had any fun like that.

Sorry no photos of the evening revelry...you should thank me for that, though, trust me. :)

Aloha pumehana...

Pedestal Kickin'

Sometimes you see a friend make a choice and you expect them to make the choice that most people would make, BUT there's a little part of you that hopes they'll take the other path that would make them the extraordinary person you really believe they might be.

As expected, they make the choice most people would make. And all of a sudden you realize just how much you believed in them, and you're vaguely confused and bummed out. It's a period of adjustment, I suppose, when you find out that someone is more human, more foibled than you thought.

Over the years, I've experienced this many times, and the feeling doesn't change, just my reaction to it. Only rarely do I write someone off now. I've learned to trust my gut and kick away the pedestals.

Just had this happen again, so I'm sort of having to adjust how I see this person; not love them any less, just add the foible to the mix and love them differently, sometimes even more. When I do this, it's amazing how later on, sometimes much later on, but without fail, the same person will surprise me with how extraordinary they are in some other way.

I have no doubt people have seen me fall off their pedestals in a similar fashion, and I can only hope that we can grow to love each other eye to eye.

Feelin' Like Fiona

Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day and all night
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel to take flight

And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

-Fiona Apple