Integrity

[Update 7/30: Seems integrity is not the only thing lacking lately. A number of my friends are having these issues discovering new acquaintances are not just lacking in integrity, but lacking in conscience and even sanity. Weird how many of us are running into some really pathologically messed up people.

Makes me wonder if it's coincidence, or if the incidence of personality disorders is on the rise, and even if the lack of conscience issue could be a cultural problem. Maybe we need to start 'em young with empathy training throughout elementary and secondary school or something. I wonder if that would even help?? I guess it couldn't hurt...]

Been thinking a lot lately about integrity. Not only doing the right thing simply because it's just, but the more difficult act of making things right when imbalance occurs (ho'oponopono), and the most difficult and truest test of integrity, which is refraining from taking advantage to another's detriment simply because you can. Lack of integrity is true weakness.

Reminds me of another Fiona Apple song (she and I could TALK!):

My peace and quiet was stolen from me
When I was looking with calm affection
You were searching out my imperfections

Oh what a cold and common old way to go
I was feeding on the need for you to know me
Devastated at the rate you fell below me

Oh well...

Oh Brother

Kevin had a wonderful mentor in Sonoma (Thank You, Steve!) with whom we keep in touch, but there is no mentoring program here through the schools. So we signed Kevin up for the Big Brothers Big Sisters program here, and he's had a Big Brother for the last few months. I can't say enough good things about this organization. The counselors are very responsive and helpful, and it's been good for Kevin to get out and meet some new people.

My first introduction to BBBS was through a boyfriend about 25 years ago. He was in his mid-20s at the time, and still good friends with his "Big" and family from childhood. Around the holidays here last year, while speaking to that same old boyfriend, who has remained a friend all these years, he mentioned his friend who'd been his Big, and it occurred to me to sign Kevin up here.

It means Kevin gets to spend several hours each weekend outside and active, playing basketball, swimming in his Big's pool, learning to BBQ (his Big used to be a chef), or having fun at the beach with new friends, including a three-yr-old girl he loves to play with and who adores him now so much that she cries when he leaves. So he gets to play big brother for a change as well, a role he's amazingly good at. He has a knack with small children. So for him to find an outlet for that here, makes him happy and is great for his self-esteem. Also, the more time he spends in the water, the happier he is. He's becoming quite the water-baby, and all those swimming lessons are starting to pay off.

It also means that I get a few hours to myself here and there to spend with friends, at the beach or just getting things done around the house. That last part is hard, since I'm home working all week, I want to be out and about evenings and weekends. However, I really love this house, and have a few projects in the works here, including a plumbago hedge (my babies) that's growing quite nicely. Aaaand, we have banana trees. One of the neighbor's trees just bore fruit in massive amounts, so we have fresh sweet bananas to eat...yum!

But I digress...who me? :)

Aloha pumehana...

WoW for MAC!

Well, we did it! Kevin and I went and bought an iMAC today. We're SO excited. I'm actually composing this post on the new machine, which was a breeze to set up and with its built-in wireless, works like a charm over our little ol' LAN. It's mostly for Kevin to play WoW, but also for my photographs and internet surfing.

This comes after months of frustration with first an old Compaq Presario that really worked well for what it cost, and then a used Dell XPS, which only lasted about two months before it started crashing with hardware malfunctions that turned out to be caused by a defect with the GPU. In short, every time Kev played WoW, he was maxing out the system until it crashed, which would inevitably be during some all-important raid.

Poor kid. I can't count the times I heard an anguished OH MY GOD! with heavy thumps of frustration on the table. He *loved* that XPS, and the graphics are great, but with it dying every 1/2 hour, and the small hard drive, it was not something I wanted to dump more money into to fix. Time for something more reliable.

Soooo, we got the higher level 20" iMAC with the larger hard drive and better graphics card, and then added a maximum RAM upgrade. Now we just need to install WoW, and Kevin will be set. He's beyond excited!

(From Kevin himself,) I'm ECSTATIC!

I love it when he's happy. :)

[Update: Kevin installed WoW this morning lickety-split, he's up and running, and I can't believe how easy this thing is to set up and navigate. Thanks Ed!, for the pep talk and the info. Everything actually works...the first time. Woo-Hoo!!!]

Aloha pumehana...

Not Easy

"It is not easy to study emotions even when the subjects are human...." ~ Jane Goodall

Laniakea Beach up at North Shore is also known as Turtle Beach. It is frequented by a number of beautiful, huge Hawaiian Sea Turtles, known locally as honu. The honu were previously an endangered species that has made a comeback of sorts and is now classified as threatened and still garners some protections under federal law.

Under the watchful eyes of the Honu Guardians - volunteers who watch over the animals, collect behavioral data, and share information with visitors to the beach - the animals that frequent this spot have endeared themselves to locals over the years and bear the names to prove it.

A few days ago, one of these turtles, Honey Girl, was slaughtered during the night by some human animal; ripped open like a tin can, eviscerated, beheaded and missing a flipper, she was mutilated far beyond what would have been necessary or humane for extracting the meat to eat.

The community was...is...horrified by this brutal and senseless act of violence.

A memorial was set up on the beach to honor Honey Girl, and the memorial had an unexpected guest:

Some may say this is coincidence or that we shouldn't ascribe human emotions to wild creatures, but why is emotion still so taboo in the scientific community? As a lifelong admirer of Jane Goodall, who challenged that taboo with her entire body of work, I say it's time to let that old taboo die.

Maluhia 'oe, Honey Girl.

Prince Lot Hula Festival

Relaxing day yesterday enjoying the Prince Lot Hula Festival at Moanalua Gardens (yes, I got the T-shirt :). It's a stunningly lovely setting with ancient trees arching over a wide lawn in front of the hula mound, providing natural dappled shade perfect for a lazy picnic watching graceful hula (as always, click photos for a larger view).









This is an annual event, and this year the theme was honoring some of the great women of hula. The kumu hula are more than teachers; they are spiritual leaders, and it was a celebratory and fitting tribute.


Of course, as with any festival, the setting would not be complete without the Hawaiian crafts and plate lunch booths, and activities such as pounding taro into poi.


And so far I've never seen a hula performance without a dance by the little ones, the keiki, who are inevitably adorable.



The day was capped off by an evening out on the town at Aloha Tower listening to music with friends and having...*gasp*...fun with adults. Yes, I was actually out well past midnight laughing, and chair dancing with cowbells was involved...don't ask. It's been WAY too long since I had any fun like that.

Sorry no photos of the evening revelry...you should thank me for that, though, trust me. :)

Aloha pumehana...

Pedestal Kickin'

Sometimes you see a friend make a choice and you expect them to make the choice that most people would make, BUT there's a little part of you that hopes they'll take the other path that would make them the extraordinary person you really believe they might be.

As expected, they make the choice most people would make. And all of a sudden you realize just how much you believed in them, and you're vaguely confused and bummed out. It's a period of adjustment, I suppose, when you find out that someone is more human, more foibled than you thought.

Over the years, I've experienced this many times, and the feeling doesn't change, just my reaction to it. Only rarely do I write someone off now. I've learned to trust my gut and kick away the pedestals.

Just had this happen again, so I'm sort of having to adjust how I see this person; not love them any less, just add the foible to the mix and love them differently, sometimes even more. When I do this, it's amazing how later on, sometimes much later on, but without fail, the same person will surprise me with how extraordinary they are in some other way.

I have no doubt people have seen me fall off their pedestals in a similar fashion, and I can only hope that we can grow to love each other eye to eye.

Feelin' Like Fiona

Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day and all night
I wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
I say to myself
I need fuel to take flight

And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

-Fiona Apple

Aaand We Have A Whiner!

On the premise that tan tickle grips look better than whalebelly white tickle grips, I let my wobbly bits see the sun yesterday. I now have bright pink tickle grips.

Everywhere a bikini isn't, I hurt. >.<

OWWWWEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I'm not meant to be a pink flower!!!

Kevin's laughing at me...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Aloe-ha...

O'ahu Fun - Ali'i Tour

Every time someone visits us, we take them up to the Tropical Farms Macadamia Nut Outlet near Kualoa Ranch, which runs the Ali'i Tour. This is a remarkable little tour of an extraordinarily gorgeous and historically significant property still owned by the Morgan family, who bought it in 1850 from Kamehameha III.

I'd provide an internet link, but there isn't one. This little gem is sparsely listed and apparently rather a well kept secret. Not sure why, but I suspect it could be because lots of movies and television shows have been and are filmed on this property, including the old Fantasy Island, Jurassic Park, Fifty First Dates, Lost, You Me & Dupree, etc., etc. It also has a venue available for special occasions. In any case, I found out about it from one of the gals who does my toes (great pedicures here btw, but that's another post), and have been taking people there ever since.

The tour is led by a Samoan named Chief Sielu Avea, who is not only phenomenally knowlegeable and a champion fire knife dancer, but also incredibly funny. So funny, he's now started a Polynesian Revue at Sharkey's Comedy Club in Honolulu, but again, that's another post.

The property is comprised of lovingly tended lush gardens of trees, flowers and plants important to Hawaiian culture, all nestled beneath the stunning Kualoa mountains and running down to the shores of an 800 year old fish pond fed daily by the abutting sea, and originally created to feed the king's warriors.

The tour consists of a ride through the gardens in a funky little old green bus with windows and doors removed and decorated with native plants. The chief narrates the entire tour and stops here and there to give mini lectures on the uses of each plant for cooking, building, clothing and medicine, and offers us fresh flowers and fruits to eat, all the while making his guests laugh merrily at every turn.


Gradually the tour winds down to the water, where we leave the little bus for a small stone ampitheater where the chief and his assistants demonstrate coconut shelling and processing, fire starting using wild hibiscus wood, and fire dancing, among other things. It's quite impressive and informative, not to mention fun.







After the demonstration, we head out to a boat for a ride around the huge fish pond, which offers gorgeous views of the property and the incredible beauty of the mountains behind. From the pond, you can clearly see the dragon of Kualoa, kua meaning back, and loa meaning long. It's one of my favorite settings on this island, the view from that fish pond.











The fish pond also butts up against the back of a small island, where the old TV show Gilligan's Island was filmed. This is not Coconut Island, which is also closeby out in Kaneohe Bay where most of the show was filmed, but the lagoon scenes were all filmed on this fish pond.

Once the boat returns to the dock, we board the little bus again, and we're taken up on the other side of the property where a lot of the TV and movie filming is done, with some sets still intact. Then up and around on the hillside with more plants and a gorgeous sweeping view out to Turtle Island, which, as you can see in the second photo below if you click for a larger view, really looks like a turtle from there. :)



The tour ends where it began at the Tropical Farms outlet shop where I nibble the samples and stock up on some of the best Macadamias I've found so far. There's also gratis Kona coffee tasting on the deck, local body care and perfume products, and many other locally produced gift items for sale.

All in all, it's a lovely, highly enjoyable tour and the laughs alone are worth the price of admission. Now the rest of y'all come visit so we can take you there! :)

Aloha!

Independence Day!

Here it is, July 5th...phew!
Happy Birthday, Jim!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's Kev boogie boarding in Kailua yesterday for Fourth of July.

Hope you all had a happy and enjoyable Independence Day!!!

Ever since living in The Netherlands for a year as a teenager, July Fourth has always made me reflect and feel incredibly grateful for all the freedoms and bounty we enjoy here in the US and particularly for the sacrifices made by so many over many generations to secure them. To this day, WWII is still fresh and extremely powerful in the zeitgeist of The Netherlands in a way that it just isn't for most of my generation growing up in the US. It struck my soul, and does to this day.

So for all who have sacrificed over the generations for our freedoms, thank you!

On a more personal note, for several reasons this has been absolutely one of the most stressful weeks of my life. Stress and little sleep did not make me a pleasant personality. I need to thank my friends for putting up with me, particularly Fred and Sandy for not only listening patiently and without judgment to my frustrated ranting and whinging, but offering understanding support and making me laugh to boot. You guys all make me happy I'm still alive, and hopeful that I can return your friendship in times to come.

One benefit of no sleep...peaceful sunrise near Kahuku July 2nd...


Maluhia 'oe

We Have A Weaner!

P02 is officially weaned and on his own!

Mom 5AY took off yesterday and hasn't been seen since. This is normal for monk seal weaning. After all, 5AY was looking incredibly emaciated, since she doesn't eat during the whole 5-8 week neonatal nursing period.

P02 has been remarkably nonchalant about his new found solitude. Usually, there's lots of crying and whining. P02's a big weaner, but he's no sissy.

Here's a photo of our boy, in all his adorable roly-poly glory, courtesy of another volunteer. In'int he bee-oo-tee-ful?!? :)